Day 77: Go Gather Some Moss

A few weeks ago I mentioned how I found a ranking of Taylor Swift's songs on The Rolling Stone Website. For the most part this list isn't that bad, but there are a few placements that I just can't understand no matter how hard I try. I know personal preference is impossible to avoid but...well you'll see. Just so you're aware they ranked 129 songs, meaning they included almost every Taylor Swift song, bonus track, movie track, and cover under the sun. I decided not to include these for the ranking I'm working on for reasons I'll go over later, but just be aware that's why this number is so high.

Look, I don't think Bad Blood is the best song, or even a good song, but I don't think it's the worst song Taylor has ever released. Are you sure that you listened to Silent Night? That song is atrocious, I wonder where it is on the list.

Oh, that didn't take long. Yeah, if anything this is too generous. For the record half of Taylor's Christmas album is in the bottom 7 of this list which is pretty hilarious (and accurate)

This makes me sad. This song really isn't awful! It may not be a masterpiece but bottom 10 is way too harsh in my opinion.

Folks, you're witnessing a crime. This song is an underrated jam that I've really been warming up to lately so having it not even be in the top 100 is just unjustified.

No comment

No, no, no! Good songs are supposed to have small numbers! These people obviously don't understand how these lists work. Yet another lesser known bop that makes me even wonder if they listened to it more than once. This song is genius!

Wait, this is a thing? I never would have guessed that Taylor Swift would collab with T-Pain, much less all the way back in 2009. I guess it makes sense that it's pretty low. What did they have to say about it?

But...you ranked it 95th! I give up, none of this makes any sense. Let's just move on.

This song has an argument for top 10, although I personally don't think it's that high. I just don't understand what the reasoning is behind this placement. This song turns Taylor's usual tropes on their heads in a really interesting way so 91st is ridiculous.

I will defend this song until the day I die. Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran have great collaborations, and there's still one left on the list so maybe they ranked it a little higher? I'll have an easier spot forgiving this is End Game is properly recognized.

God fucking dammit.

Okay good, finally some catharsis. Yeah this song blows and tbh it's too high on this list if anything. It'll always have a special place in my heart as one of the first songs I ever really tore into. I love to hate it, but I do hate it.

This seems a little harsh. Yeah, it's about a dumb high school romance but it taps into that emotion in a way that's surprisingly difficult to do. Sure, it was overplayed but it's honestly not very overrated.

This cover is fire and I'm glad they noticed. It's surprisingly popular for a 9 year old cover which makes me very happy. Maybe this list isn't so bad after all!

Has anyone seen my pitchfork?

Ehhhhh I don't know about that one. Red's biggest crime is that it's songs are too uniform, and Sad Beautiful Tragic is the least unique among the bunch to me.

Are they seriously trying to claim that Taylor Swift has made 31 songs better than Mine? Yeah, I'm not buying it for a second. This song is top 15 on a bad day, and top 1 on a good one.

Read the above text except even more. Not only is this song top notch Taylor Swift, it goes toe to toe with all modern country music period.

Oh, they think they're so funny. I'm not even going to dignify this with a response (even though it's pretty accurate)

Guys it wasn't funny the first time and this song isn't even that good. If you're not going to take ranking Taylor Swift's songs seriously then I'm not sure I can make it through the rest of this list.

I don't even know what to say anymore. This song sounds decent but it's a complete lyrical mess and putting it 36 spots ahead of Ronan makes me want to vomit.

The rest of the list is more or less fine, but this pick is just plain indefensible. New Romantics? Really? The song that sounds like it takes place in the parking lot of a Hot Topic is the second best Taylor Swift song? There were a lot of placings in this list that made me unhappy, but this pick takes the disappointing cake. The worst part of this song is that it just has no freaking point. It's like Weird Al's Young Dumb And Ugly, except it takes itself seriously. Or maybe it isn't, I can't exactly go check for another 23 days. This song's track is nice so I try not to let this ranking ruin it for me but guys it's really hard. This song is slightly above average at the very best; seeing it at number 2 makes me feel young, dumb, and ugly.

I left out a couple that I thought were questionable, but for the most part every song I didn't mention I think is placed more or less correctly. Of course you'll see my full list in a couple weeks but for now I hope your insatiable need for carnage has been sufficiently satiated.

See you tomorrow,
-C